Unapologize
by ToKeepFromGoingUnder
Summary: Is Gillian finally ready to let her feelings out?


**A/N: I heard the song 'Unapologize' by Carrie Underwood and just HAD to write this. Here is the first verse and chorus if you have never heard it before.**

_**Last night  
I was pouring out my heart  
Like a waterfall to you  
And with one kiss  
I was a runaway train  
flying off the track to you  
****'I love you' came flooding out  
****couldn't make it stop couldn't shut my mouth  
****I felt like a fool then I lied and said I was sorry.  
but  
**__**I unapologize  
****I meant every word  
****Wont take back the way I feel about you  
****cant unsay what you heard  
****cuz you heard me right  
****and I wont try to fight em back or hide my feelings for you  
****I unapologize**_

**Cal stared at her, allowing the sweet aroma of the candle in her office to fill him with warmness. He dug his hands into his pockets and looked out the winow. "It's beautiful." Gillian whispered, walking up next to him.**

**He looked at her and was barely able to keep himself from gasping. The sunset that was taking place outside was bringing certain glow to her face. She smiled at him and he cleared his throat, "Yeah... it reminds me of you." It slipped out before he could bite his tongue.**

**She was taken back by surprise, but it filled her with warmth. "Um... did you look over that...?" She turned slightly and pointed towards her desk.**

**"File? Yep... My guess is that the mom got frustrated... she didn't have her drugs... she just lost control and hit the kid." He shrugged, but was taken over with sympathy at the look on her face. She looked absolutely disgusted and terrified. **

**"That's so..." _Horrible. _She thought. She looked at him and watched as the sun filled his hazel eyes, bringing the color out even more. It just reminded her of how beautiful he was in a messed up sort of way. His crooked nose and eyes. His weird, but adorable smile. His strange, but irresitible accent. She wasn't used to any of the things in a man. She was used to a young, tall and handsome young man - not that Cal wasn't handsome. He was just different. Other men were straight to the point if they wanted her or not. But Cal... well, one, she couldn't read him. Ever. Two, she didn't think he ever wanted her to read him. And, three, he was always skipping around his feelings. He would never actually tell anybody how he felt. **

**He would slide up right behind her. His chest pressed to her back. His breath in her ears. And he would fill her with and intensity so strong she wanted to just turn around and force their lips together. But then he would chuckle and walked away, mumbling something about the line that she had made! What was wrong with her? She was just scared... that was it.**

**She knew what she had to do now... now that she had thought about all of this... she needed to tell him.**

**"God... You mean so much to me." She said out of the blue. He had walked away and was searching through some books that were on her desk. He glanced up and stared at her.**

**"Wha?" He obviously hadn't been paying attention, but he could see the look on her face. This as something important.**

**"There have been so many times when you were with Clara or Poppy or Naomi or Zoe or Wallowski-"**

**"What is this about love?" He asked in his rough, irresistible, British accent.**

**He just called her love... God if only he knew how happy that made her. It just... made her fall for him all over again. Just the way his voice changed when he said 'love'. And it changed only when he said it to her. It meant something... something good, and she knew it.**

**She sighed and tried to smile, "I just fall apart. I can't stand to see you with them Cal... you just jump from woman to woman, but I can't watch that anymore. You are supposed to be with _me_ and we both know that."**

**"But the..." He was staringat her, unsure of how to take this all in.**

**He felt the sameway... maybe not the exact way... but he still loved her. He knew that nobody had loved her as much he loves her now. Whenever he looked at her everything was so much better. Even if Emily was being her usual teenage self... or if Zoe was breathing down his back about something. Or if some kid on a case was being annoying... all it took was one glance towards Gillian... and it was all better. He just wanted to laugg or smile like an excited girl. He would never admit that, of course! But she just filled him with butterflies... a feeling that would never change.**

**"The line..." He whispered. That line... that stupid line! It ruined everything... but if she was the first to cross it...the maybe...**

**"I have known you for seven years." Gillian continued, deciding that she would get to the line later. "Even though I was married... I knew that we were meant to be. The way you looked at me... and the way that I was looking at you. We are meant for each other... And I know... the line, but I made it because I was scared and worried of what might happen, but I loveyou to death Cal and I want you to know... I can't stand looking at you and not hugging you. I can't stand having you stand by me and not turning right around and kissing you!" Gillian said loudly, glancing out the open door to her office. She shut the door and turned to him. The sun hd completely fallen and the only thing lighting the room was about 6 candles that were spread out, which made her office like a rainbow, but with scents rather than colors.**

**He stared at her, his mouth hanging open. What is he supposed to say to that? "Uh..."**

**"I... I'm so sorry..." Gillian said, turning away from him, realising that he didn't feel the same way, "God... I am so sorry... I just... sorry." She whispered, taking a seat on the couch that was across from him.**

**"No I..." He whispered, still surprised of what had just happened. He ran a hand through his hair and walked closer to her.**

**"No I'm not."**

**"Not what?" He asked worriedly.**

**"I'm not sorry. I unapologize." She said, walking over to him, "That is exactly how i feel about you and I am done hiding it. I can't stand just stand here... and watching you be with other women! I love you Cal... and I want you to know it. I take back that sorry... because I meant every word. I can just take back what I said... and truth be told that makes me ecstatic because I have been terrified to spit that out... and now it's there... you know and you can take it or leave it, but...I love you Cal."**

**He stared at her and walked until he was touching her. He grabbed her arm and pulled her into a standing position. She lightly fell back onto the couch, but instead she fell onto him, "God, I am so-"**

**His lips met her and he let his fingertips lightly stroll up her back and into her hair, deepening the kiss.**


End file.
